TLDR: Consider this the sound of impotent rage hitting a keyboard. I tried to change trip destination over a week in advance due to credible safety concerns. ACV ignored my web inquiry, wasted days telling me to call back later, then refused changes because it was “too close to departure”. Result: I have the choice to fly somewhere I don’t feel safe or eat $5,000 in losses. Zero flexibility, endless hold times, and customer service that boils down to “too bad, so sad.” Never use Air Canada Vacations!
My ragey rant because there’s not much else I can do at this point
Let me tell you a little story about Air Canada Vacations (ACV), a company that could teach a masterclass in how to be politely useless while lighting $5,000 of someone else’s money on fire.
I had a trip booked to Colombia with my niece. Looking forward to fun, sun, beaches, good food, a few nice excursions; great. Then the Orange Menace started publicly threatening to attack Colombia, like he already illegally did in Venezuela. A shining example of ongoing ’Merikan imperialism and exceptionalism, where international law is treated like toilet paper. Cool. Looove that for everyone. Suddenly, I’m not super jazzed about vacationing somewhere that might become a geopolitical chew toy for the pedobrigade. For the record, Colombia itself isn’t the concern; by all credible accounts it is a fantastic country, and our plans avoided all border and high-risk areas. The concern is the Tangerine Terrorist, who has already shown he’s willing to invade other countries, now explicitly running his filthy pinched mouth about Colombia.
And it’s not just me. My 83-year-old retired cop father is absolutely beside himself with anxiety over this, calling to make sure I’ve “thought it through.” My worry-prone spouse has been repeating some version of “you shouldn’t go” on a near-daily basis. So no, this isn’t imaginary paranoia; it’s real concern from people who love me and have functioning survival instincts.
So I do the responsible adult thing. I don’t cancel last minute. I don’t panic.
I submit an inquiry through Air Canada Vacations’ web form on Thursday; 11 days before my departure date. No reply. No acknowledgment. Just radio silence, because apparently replying to customers is optional over there.
Two days go by with no response, so I call Air Canada Vacations on Sunday; still more than a week before departure; to ask about changing my destination. I’m not asking for a refund. I’m not asking for freebies. I am literally offering to give them more money to travel to one of their other destinations.
I sit on hold for 3 hours and 20 minutes. Three. Hours. Twenty. Minutes. Listening to that shitty muzak through a crackly, volume-warbling hold line that sounds like it’s being piped in from 1977. Eventually, I get through. The agent is polite enough, but completely useless. Their final advice?
“Call back tomorrow when it’s closer to your departure date.”
Oookaaay. Fine.
I call back Monday. It is now exactly one week before departure. I wait an hour before the hold system finally offers a callback option. I take it, because I cannot listen to that muzak crap for one more second. Two hours later, they call me back; and are still useless.
This time I’m told: “The Air Canada flight advisory is in place until January 6. Call back after January 6 and we’ll deal with it then.”
So just to be clear:
No consideration that people don’t want to finalize travel plans days before departure;
No flexibility;
No solutions;
No concern whatsoever.
I ask if my Air Canada Super Elite status (you know, that thing thing you only get when last year you flew over 100,000 miles and spent over $20K with their company) will help me get any better service.
“No, because Air Canada Vacations is a separate company.”
WTF.
WTAF?
If Air Canada policies don’t apply to ACV, why did you reference Air Canada’s travel advisory dates when you told me to call back after the 6th? What kind of nightmare runaround are you preparing to spin me in?
Anyway, ever the hopeful sucker, I follow their instructions. I call back after January 6. By this point, I’ve burned six hours of my life listening to shitty hold music. I wait over four hours for a callback.
And what’s the verdict?
You can’t make changes when travel is less than a week away.
“Too bad. No refunds. No changes.”
So let me get this straight.
I tried to change my trip well in advance.
I followed the exact process you told me to follow.
You delayed me for four days.
And now, because of your delays, my options are:
- Fly somewhere I don’t feel safe visiting, or
- Eat a $5,000 loss for absolutely nothing.
I ask the obvious question:
What happens if the Americans actually attack Colombia while I’m there on one of your vacation packages?
“Oh, we understand your frustration…”
No. No you don’t understand my frustration. I don’t want empathy cosplay. I want an answer to the question I just asked.
“Well, we’d try to get you out.”
Try. TRY???
So you won’t take more of my money to change my destination now; but if shit hits the fan, you’ll try to deal with it then?
Outstanding strategy. Truly.
I wasn’t asking for anything free. I wasn’t asking for special treatment. I wasn’t even asking for a refund. I just wanted the option to PAY MORE MONEY to feel safe on a vacation I booked through your company. Instead, I got corporate shoulder-shrugging and a masterclass in re-direction and bureaucratic indifference.
So tell me, honestly:
Why would anyone ever use Air Canada Vacations?
Because if this is what passes for customer service; endless holds, zero flexibility, and a final “get fucked”; then congratulations. You’ve earned every ounce of this rant.
Take your precious Aeroplan points and your stupid new SQC and stuff them where the sun don’t shine, because there ain’t no sunshine warming my disposition toward you right now.
Never again.
This post is brought to you by impotent rage, a keyboard, and the crushing realization that not only will none of this will fix anything, but I have misplaced my loyalty to a company that doesn’t give a damn about it’s faithful customers.
